After all the hours and days building up to the departure, I got about 1.5 hours sleep before I had to get up. The night before, I was stressed and didn’t sleep well either. Surprisingly I’m feeling fairly lucid, probably will crash and sleep on the flight to Tokyo, or in Calgary. It’s currently 6:58am Pacific time.
My friend who agreed to drive me to the airport woke up early, but fell back asleep, and my backup friend didn’t wake at the right time. I called a cab for $65, the young Indian driver was nice and understanding.
I had placed my full trust in my friend and told him so beforehand, and he let me down. I felt some anger but found forgiveness and compassion.
I saw a friend from when I most recently did gymnastics, Darian, working at Fresh cup at the airport. I felt a few urges to talk with him but I think some type of fear stopped me. I thought it was apathy, and maybe that was the result, but for some reason my heart didn’t leap up to chat with him. I’m reminded of a quote from way of the peaceful warrior that goes something like: “I have seen beyond peoples social masks but that has only made me cynical, I still have yet to look deeper to see their light within.”
And maybe that’s a reflection of my own self perception lately, I’ve been seeing many ways which I am programmed to be selfish and not be an upstanding person with flaws, which is the first step to self-acceptance. I am learning to live fully, and this is yet another test to be fearlessly of service.
Sat between two women on the first plane. One was receptive to some conversation.
6 hours later, I’ve realized I forgot my Aussie drover hat because I left it in my parents truck – I realized I was relying on either SEEING items or just trusting that my brain would remember them as I was leaving – since it was out of sight it was out of mind, oops. If i had kept a “leaving checklist” then I may have remembered it, I was sleep deprived and stressed. Having this be only the second solo international travel I’ve done (and this being the first trip of this kind) I didn’t have a system in place. This is the learning experience. I also seem to have misplaced my portable power bank, and I think I might have left that in my other backpack. When my parents get home I’ll see if they can check for me unless it turns up in my orderly mess of gear.
Lots of musings coming up for me right now. I can feel the sleep deprivation affecting my body in my chest and heart right now, I’m going to drink a bunch of water to bolster my immune system.